Heavenly Grace

Dedicated to and about the best person
in my life with all my heart: Skye Niccole


She came to me from the world beyond mortal eyes
Kept seeing the benevolent kind soul and wondered
Y did GOD send u to me, never realized
Each day shes a blessing to stay alive
Shy thy I am, her arms caressed me in tender loving care
To make me surrender her my all but
How ready was I to put faith in such a dare
Easier said than easier done until out from afar
Lips of rose petal red pressed to mine,
Instantly there; our hearts floated away in heavenly divine
My My thou she has made love within my human soul
I now further and forever more treasure
The love that was sent from above the sky.

She Walks By

I was waking up maybe about five-forty three in the morning. I went to open the front door to dump the morning trash and as I was coming back after dumping I noticed this beautiful young attractive woman walking to her car getting ready for work. She was about five feet eight inches tall and had long brunette hair down her back but such a stunning sight to witness as my knees began to crumble from under me. As she was having a conversation on her cell phone I saw she had a gorgeous smile that can melt any man’s heart away. Its’ like if this woman just suddenly fell from a paradise world in the heavens and I was its first witness to see her arrival. I wanted to say something but it was in the morning, I was tired, and I have a weakness for beautiful women. Anyway I did not see her again until later that day when I was scoping out her arrival through the window. I guess you can say afterwards I kept a very close eye on her.

I was only able to catch her once that morning but I made sure that I would see her again and find out who she is. So I started waiting by the window everyday at six o’ clock. In two weeks I figured out her pattern that she comes home in the evening at six-thirty. Two weeks by the window just trying to figure out the best opportunity to talk to her. It wasn’t easy either. Most of the times coming home from work I would fall asleep and wake up late at night missing her at every turn. I never in my life sat in front of a window making timing preparations for a scheduled meeting. I was single for a very long time so I figured “what the hell?!”

I must’ve waited for three months before I worked up the courage to say
something to her. But I felt good about myself after it was over. Just watching her go by was entertaining enough. Outside the window from what I noticed she was friendly, warm hearted, sounded sweet like a girly girl, and independent. Great qualities in a woman. So did I finally meet her after three months of watching her behind the window? Indeed and it was nice. Although I was sincere when I ended our conversation where it began.

“Well congratulations Natalie, and make sure your fiancée
knows he is a very lucky man”. Damn lucky!

It may not have gone the way I wanted but I really felt pleased with myself that I tried and survived. Pretty much carrying around a fear of rejection and loneliness is what stops me. I tried saying hello before but nothing positive ever entered my personal life so I stopped trying for five years and now. That moment when I finally said hello and was rejected it felt different. I did not feel humiliated or embarrassed that I lost. I didn’t have to feel as the loneliest loser in the world. Rejection isn’t something you should dwell upon over time. It is a part of life. If you don’t learn to move on life will go on without you. It will be like years pass in seconds as you sit in a chair and watch from behind a window. So in the end it was worth it.

Wishful Conversation

If I could have a once in a lifetime conversation with anybody from the past I would choose my late grandfather John F. Laury Sr. I never met him before due to his untimely demise when my father was only fifthteen years old. He died from a gunshot wound to the torso during an "event" when a heated discussion took place between him and another man. If I had the chance to ever meet him now I would take it no questions asked. He has been in the Navy and he is a ten year veteran of the Newark Police Department. I've heard so many things about him it feels as though I already know him. I admire and respect him, in a way he is my idol and a hero just like my father.

I would set up the conversation after my father’s birthday back in 1955 where we would meet at one of his hangout bars and we would sit and have mugs of beer. Me and him would kick back and talk for hours about who I am and who he is and we certainly are talking about my dad. I'm always told that he would spoil me rotten for being the only grandson in the family. He would take me everywhere with him, introduce me to his friends, shop around looking for women, buy me gifts, the whole nine yards that grandparents take to spoil their grandchildren. I would've liked to known his defining moments in the Navy and the police force.

As well known things were not easy back then for African-American men in the 50's, I remember looking at his class picture and seeing thirty Caucasian males and three Black males. I know it was hard to handle being in there like that. I was also told he had to put up with alot of shit in the police force in order to move up the ranks. Different men in higher places inside the force purposely tried to break him down. Those are the stories that I probably would want to hear the most. Along with stories of his childhood, growing up, his father, and how he met Unice El, my grandmother. Every second of the day we would have to be with each other to get in on all these conversations, there’s just too many!

Today I still keep him close to my heart. I wear his old Navy dog tag to ensure that when his spirit is with me, I can do no wrong. It’s like a piece of his spirit rests with me when I wear his dog tag. Other mementos are his letters my grandmother saved from when he was in the Navy, his Good Conduct service medal, and old photographs of him and the family. I also keep the newspaper clipping of when he died. He is gone but I believe he will always live on in the items and stories I have of him. I hope from where ever he is watching me, that he is proud to have a grandson like me. Just like I'm extremely proud to have a grandfather like him. I wonder now will my grandchildren ever want to remember me like this, I can only hope. Love you grandpa!